Less than five minutes of exposure to MTV’s “Jersey Shore” and the antics of “The Situation” can leave one pretty confounded at the priorities of men in our society regarding sex and love.
Whether or not guys are really just looking for sex or finding “the one” is too dynamic of a question to pinpoint a single answer.
However, there are some commonalities among all college aged guys.
Some guys just want sex.
Who can blame them for prowling around campus, making sure to attend the first day of class (if no others), or showing out in bars trying to get some action?
Thousands of years of evolutionary shaping created a system that has been very successful, as the planet is hitting the seven billion population mark.
From this evolutionary psychology perspective, the male sex drive developed so that viral, healthy, males would go out and reproduce with the most genetically fit females.
Our aesthetic attractions are driven from outward displays of good genetics.
For instance, men find a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 to be a slice of heaven.
The drive to have sex itself is born from the brain’s mesolimbic system, which controls the brain chemical dopamine.
This is the same chemical that drugs artificially stimulate to result in physiological addiction.
In much the same way it drives drug addicts, the natural effects make us hooked on sex.
However, the higher consciousness of humans and the ability to resist our biological urges unlike other creatures has created a society and culture that idealizes the virtue of “love” and monogamy, as expressed through our movies and music.
In regards to this, some guys are coming around the evolutionary curve faster than others.
Once the macho façade has fallen, many guys really want someone to love.
We desire a relationship based on friendship, loyalty, trust and support.
Men exist that want to hear what’s inside that crazy head of yours, and there’s nothing better than watching a girl you like light up with laughter having fun with you.
When this connection materializes and a guy wants more than just the allure of your genetic perfection, eyes and all, maybe she won’t be “the one,” but she can be the one that makes the “hoes have to goez.”
I would say that most men fall somewhere between the two extremes and although many of our immediate efforts go toward getting laid, my overarching hope is to find love in its most romantic, yet realistic, form.
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