It’s that time of the year again. Soon, every red-blooded male south of Canada and north of Mexico will be consumed by the mighty grasp, which is football season.
For months, die-hard football fans have had to endure nothing but offseason stories that are mostly nothing but hearsay and time fillers for radio and television stations.
We had to endure the never-ending drama that is “Johnny Football.” We had to endure the downfall of one of the NFL’s promising young stars, Aaron Hernandez. And for ULM fans, we had to wait patiently for the chance to wash the Independence Bowl loss out of our mouths.
In less than a week “Johnny Football” will have his chance to put this summer behind him and add to his legacy. Todd Berry will be traveling with his team to Norman, Oklahoma to take on Bob Stoops and the Sooners. And Aaron Hernandez, well, he’ll still be in prison somewhere.
Middle age men will soon be drunk, shirtless and covered in paint in front of thousands of innocent people. Oh, the passion of football season.
My advice is this; watch, listen, and talk about football every chance possible. Don’t blink. Don’t sleep. Don’t eat. Let football completely control your daily processes for the next six months.
Enjoy the spectacle that is a football stadium filled with thousands of fans, cheering, screaming and singing their team to victory. Enjoy watching grown men chase each other around simply for your entertainment.
Make plans to go to Malone Stadium and cheer on the Warhawks every time the gates are open (there’s a pretty good football team on campus in case you haven’t noticed).
Over analyze every play, whether its your favorite team or your buddy’s. By over analyze, I mean talk a little trash.
It’s perfectly fine to let someone know when their team stinks. Do this in caution. The favor will be returned in due time. Never underestimate the trash talking abilities of women too. No, football isn’t important in the global scheme of things. No, it isn’t as important as most things seen on Fox News and MSNBC. But it is fun.
It’s fun to passionately take a stand behind a team or player. Use football as an escape from the struggles of the outside world. Pick a team that you feel fits you best and please, for the love of all things that are good, stick with them.
If it isn’t obvious enough already, I’m excited to see the first kickoff and to hear pads crack. It all begins Thursday night in the splendor of ESPNHD, as North Carolina and South Carolina square off in Columbus.
