Imagine being at a fundraiser for childhood cancer. Now imagine someone complaining the entire time that adults get cancer, too. They say things like “it’s not just kids” or “adult cancer is just as important.”

Isn’t that annoying? Yes, anyone can get cancer and it’s all very important. But that fundraiser is specifically for the children. 

Childhood cancer is both a separate issue and the same issue. It’s a specific problem that needs solving, yet adults with cancer can still benefit from it being solved.

The point is to not belittle one cause for another. 

This happens too often and the message always gets lost because people try to make it a competition. Struggle and oppression is not a competition.

It’s even worse when one is obviously a bigger problem than the other.  

Sexual assault and harassment happens to men. But there is no denying the extent and severity of which it happens to women all over the world every single day. 

Sex and hate crimes against women are a huge problem and always have been.  

Misogyny combined with crime against women is a specific problem. It’s a specific problem aimed at women, not men. 

When someone wants to specifically discuss sexism against women, sit down and listen.

It’s not the time to chime in “it happens to men, too” or “it’s not just women.” We know. Everyone knows.  

But at that particular moment, someone may just want to fight for the women. It may not be the time or place to discuss men.

The same goes for what is happening in Ferguson right now. What is happening is a racially charged hate crime against black people. 

Racism against black people is a huge problem. It’s a specific problem that we need to solve right now.

White people have not and do not experience what black people go through. While racism may happen towards white people, it does not compare. 

When cops gun down black children and fire tear gas at protestors, do not try to belittle the situation with “it’s not just black people because one time someone called me a cracker.”

It does not compare. It is not about you. It is about the constant hate crime against women and black people. Not men and white people.  

When someone has the courage to speak up about issues like misogyny or racism, it is harmful behavior to shut him or her down. 

Don’t silence people. Fight with them and try to understand where they are coming from.

Another harmful tactic men tend to use to silence women’s issues is “not all men.” Which I’m sure some of the men reading this are currently thinking.

When women speak up about their rape or sexual assault, speak out against catcalling and street harassment and stand up to misogyny, it is ridiculous for a man to brush her off because he isn’t personally like that.

It’s time to stop constantly telling women that “not all men are like that” and listen to why all women feel that way.

Look at it this way: imagine being a child who was attacked by a dog. You are left physically and emotionally scarred. 

You develop a fear of dogs or at the very least an apprehension of them. 

Dogs are frightening now because you don’t know what they will do or what they are capable of. Walking past a loud and vicious dog is frightening.

Growing up, you realize not all dogs are vicious. Not all dogs are going to attack you and not all dogs are like that.

But a lot of them are. Enough of them are to the point where that wariness of dogs never quite seems to go away. 

You can probably handle a gentle dog that just wants to play. You cannot handle a dog that barks and jumps at you.

This is not saying that men are dogs. This is an analogy that everyone can relate to because so many people have probably had bad experiences with certain animals at some point in their lives, just like the women who have had bad experiences with certain men throughout their lives. 

Women are fully aware that not all men will hurt them or hate them, but enough of them do. 

I’m sure that can also apply to how the citizens of Ferguson feel about their police force.

They understand not all white men and not all cops are like that. There is no need to shove it in their faces. 

It is selfish to brush off someone’s feelings or negative experiences just because you wouldn’t act as their abuser did or you know someone that would have acted differently in the same situation.

It’s also selfish to ignore one issue by talking louder about another. 

So as a man, you may respect women with all your heart and value them as much as yourself. 

As a police officer, you may value the lives of the people you protect and treat your job with respect.

You would never put a hand on them violently or without consent. 

But guess what? Not all men are like that.