Women need to decide what they want from men

Reginald Wells

When I first came to college, I hated going home because I knew the first question would always be about my grades. Everybody asked the same questions, and I would have to give the same generic answer. Don’t forget the forced smile, so, people won’t think I’m being rude.

Now, my parents are only concerned with one thing. “When are you going to bring someone home to meet us?” That’s where the smile goes out of the window. Parents do not realize the hoops, hurdles and obstacles you have to cross just to get an actual date, much less a girlfriend.

As a high school junior looking for a date to a Key Club dance, I had to learn that the hard way. I asked a girl to be my date in front of her friends, and I quickly regretted it. The snickers and looks that followed the awkward silence left me without a date – and my pride.

Earlier this year, I started courting a girl I had met a few weeks before. The future seemed promising until I met her friend. Her childish demeanor and negative attitude always ended any conversation I had with my bae. I couldn’t imagine what she would say whenever I wasn’t there. I just knew it wasn’t good. To this day, she still serves distasteful looks even though I treat her and her friend with respect. Lesson learned.

Let’s not forget about the friends. They’re rarely in your corner and will likely do anything to sabotage and belittle you.

Honestly, I don’t even try anymore. Most girls I have come across aren’t exactly sure what they want. This is college. Everyone hears that this is the time to let loose and have fun, but at the same time, everybody wants to have that person they can form a special connection with.

Our generation is one of attention gained through social media. Girls love to post on social media about how they want to be treated like queens, that all guys are the same and they want something different. They’re always looking for someone who will exemplify all the characteristics they want. The next day, these same girls will brag about how they curved a guy who tried to approach them.

What they fail to realize is nobody is perfect. The guys who have the courage to approach you may not be what you envisioned, but you will never know what they have to offer unless you at least give them the chance to show you. This isn’t to say that there aren’t bad guys who don’t deserve that opportunity.

Standards should be set, but they should not be ridiculously high. We’re all still in college trying to find ourselves and build foundations for our futures. Women need to understand that we can’t necessarily give you the world just yet, but most of us are willing to do what we can.

Most of all, girls need to realize that constantly bragging about curving guys is a huge turn-off. Taking screenshots of a guy’s attempts to try and talk to you makes other guys afraid to even try. No one wants to be embarrassed by a screenshot. It illustrates a terrible attitude which can make the most physically appealing woman unattractive. You can’t be beautiful with an ugly attitude. Not too many guys will deal with the problems that attitude will bring. I know I wouldn’t.

Constantly talking about wanting to be in a relationship just for the attention is essentially perpetuating a never-ending cycle. Just running through the motions gets old, fast. It’s a waste of time and effort. Unless we know that our efforts won’t be wasted, most guys won’t even approach you, simply because we know it won’t be worth it.

I’m not saying that the end goal is to be married with kids,  but the relationship and the process should be meaningful. We’re past the two-week test trial dating phase. If you truly want a rewarding relationship, there are quality guys here. You just have to give them the opportunity to rise to the occasion.